WHO IS WISE?

There was once an Irishman and an Englishman who lived next door to each other. The Irishman owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast. One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Englishman's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Englishman pick up the egg. The Irishman ran up to the Englishman and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Englishman disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.
They argued for a while until finally the Irishman said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the balls and time how long it takes you to get back up. Then you kick me in the balls and time how long it takes for me to get up, whoever gets up quicker wins the egg."
The Englishman agreed to this and so the Irishman found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward the Englishman and kicked as hard as he could in the balls. The Englishman fell to the floor clutching his nuts howling in agony for 30 minutes. Eventually the Englishman stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you."
The Irishman replied,

"Keep the fucking egg!"

WOMEN ARE COMPLEX

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don't, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
If you don't, you are not understanding
If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don't, you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you don't, she thinks you do not love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way
If you visit another man, you're not putting in "quality time"
If she is visited by another woman, "oh it's natural, we are girls"
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage
If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics
If you do, she thinks it's just one of men's tactics for seduction
If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring
If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk

In short:

So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable
So damning, yet so wonderful...

...WOMEN!

MEN WILL ALWAYS BE MEN

If you kiss him, you are easy If you don't, you are frigid If you praise him, he thinks you are fake If you don't, he thinks you are ungrateful If you agree to all his likes, you are submissive If you don't, you are controling If you visit him often, he thinks you're desperate If you don't, he thinks you're not interested If you are well dressed, he says you are vain If you don't, you are a dog If you are jealous, he say's you're possessive If you're not, then he fools around If you attempt a romance, he say's you are cheap If you don't, he thinks you are cold If you are a minute late, he says you are fussy If he is late, he says you're impatient If you visit another man, you are fooling around If he is visited by another woman, "oh we're just friends" If you kiss him once in a while, he says you're too shy If you kiss him often, he says you're too forward If he fails to help you in crossing the street, he brings up the feminist movement If he does, he expects to be rewarded If you stare at another woman, he says you're jealous If he is stared by other men, boy, you're in big trouble.. If you talk, it's always too much If you listen, it's never enough
In short:

So complex, yet so predictable So macho, yet so sensitive (usually to their own feelings) So confusing, yet so funny but most of all, So irritating, yet so irresistible

...MEN!

MY WIFE

JOKES--------A man is almost about to die

As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I've slept with dozens of them."His wife looked at him calmly and said,

"Why do you think I gave you the poison?"

MONEY GIVES YOU MATURITY

In the early 1930's, a farmer and his wife went to a fair.
The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost.
"$10 for 3 minutes," replied the pilot. "That's too much," said the farmer.The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10.
" The farmer and his wife agreed and went for a wild ride. After they landed, the pilot said to the farmer, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave man.
" "Maybe so," said the farmer, "But I gotta tell ya,

I almost screamed when my wife fell out."

We All Have our Guilts

Sometimes, we see our problems so complicated that we think we are the only unfortunate creations.The truth is, we all have our short comings one way or the other.Let's build our self confidence so that we can face realities anytime we are comfronted with challenges in life

A young couple were on their honeymoon. The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, "Now how can I tell my wife that I've got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink? I've managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she's bound to find out sooner or later that my feet stink. Now how do I tell her?"Meanwhile, the wife was sitting in the bed saying to herself, "Now how do I tell my husband that I've got really bad breath? I've been very lucky to keep it from him while we were courting, but as soon as he's lived with me for a week, he's bound to find out. Now how do I tell him gently?"The husband finally plucks up enough courage to tell his wife and so he walks into the bedroom. He walks over to the bed, climbs over to his wife, puts his arm around her neck, moves his face very close to hers and says, "Darling, I've a confession to make."And she says, "So have I, love."To which he replies,

"Don't tell me, you've eaten my socks."My lovely readers you know what he means.someones trouble can let you keep mute on yours.

let us not look down on ourselves for there are greater misfortunes worse than yours.

THE REWARD

There are so many earthly rewards that many of us fight for.These rewards are sometimes bloody and some times worthwhile.But our reward is in heaven says the lord.

Many many years ago, there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool at back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single.

One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, "My dear guests . . . I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge alive!" As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large splash!! There was one guy in the pool swimming with all he could and screaming out of fear. The crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking as though he was running for his life. Finally, he made it to the other side with only a torn shirt and some minor injuries. The millionaire was impressed. He said, "My boy that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well I must keep my end of the bargain. Do you want my daughter or the one million dollars?" The guy says, "Listen, I don't want your money, nor do I want your daughter! I want the person who pushed me in that water!"
This would have been a result of a bloody experience but readers i want you to know that money and pleasure is not every thing.

Ato Amissah-Koomson: BEWARE OF FALSE PROPHETS

Ato Amissah-Koomson: BEWARE OF FALSE PROPHETS
THE BIBLE

WHEN IS JESUS COMING?

Would you be SURPRISED to realize that JESUS has told YOU every week of your life EXACTLY WHEN HE'S COMING BACK?
No, we DON'T know "the day nor the hour", but He has told everyone of us exactly when He's coming back!

Do you agree that the earth's monthly cycle is determined by earth's relationship to the moon? Do you agree that the earth's yearly cycle is determined by earth's relationship to the sun? Do you agree that the earth's 24-hour day cycle is determined by earth's relationship to the sun and moon?

Then what in the heavens, astronomically speaking, determines our 7 day weekly cycle?

You're right! NOTHING! So where did we get a 7 day week? It goes all the way back to Creation in the Book of Genesis,

God created the earth in 6 days, and rested on the Seventh Day. Why did God create a 7 day week? Why not a 5 day week or a 10 day week? Maybe God was trying to tell us something! In addition, why is the number 7 called God's number in the Bible?

"Because it's the perfect number, or it signifies completion" you may reply. But why is 7 a perfect number? and why does 7 signify completion?

The answer will become apparent!The apostle Peter provides the key to our understanding in 2 Peter, chapter 3 where Peter is discussing the Second Coming of Christ in the verses both before and immediately after verse 8. In verse 8 he states that "one day is with the Lord, as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day."

Frequently, this is interpreted to mean that since the Lord is outside of time, that whether it's a day or a thousand years, it's all the same to Him. But God ALWAYS deals with humanity in precise periods of time. Everything has its Appointed Time. There was :a time for Christ to come to the earth, A time for the crucifixion, A time for the resurrection AND a time for the Second Coming

though only God knows the day and the hour.Two concepts are repeated over and over throughout the scriptures:

1) Everything has an Appointed Time and

2) the number 7 is God's number.

(6 days of creation and the 7th day as the Sabbath) is apparent in numerous Bible stories.

(1) The Israelites marched around Jericho once a day for 6 days and 7 times on the 7th day then the walls fell down. The victory was delivered to Israel. (Josh. 6:3-6)

(2) After the Lord brought down fire on Mt. Carmel and consumed Elijah's sacrifice and the priests of Baal were destroyed, Elijah prayed for rain 6 times and nothing happened.

When he prayed the 7th time, there appeared "a cloud as small as a man's hand" and rain poured out from heaven. (1 Kings 18:38-46)

(3) Jesus predicted to His disciples that some of them would not see death until they saw Him coming in His kingdom. (Matt 16:27,28) Six days after that statement, on the 7th day, Peter, James and John witnessed Jesus' transfiguration into divine glory. (Matt 17:1-9)

The 6 days of creation = 6000 years of earth's history.

The 7th day = the beginning of the 7th 1000 year millennial period when Christ returns in glory to take the righteous to heaven to be with Him.

(4) In the 4th commandment, 6 days are allotted for man, the 7th day is for worship of the Lord on the Sabbath. (Ex 20: 8-11) (See also Heb. 4:1-9)

(5) In John, Chapter 1, Jesus is seen with John the Baptist before traveling to the wedding at Cana where He performed His first miracle. The first four days are found in verses 19, 29, 35 and 43. On the fourth day, Jesus makes the trip to Cana and is not seen again until the 7th day in Chapter 2, at which time He performs the miracle of turning water into wine. The wedding symbolizes Jesus, the bridegroom, returning for His bride, the church.Other interesting examples are:

(6) Israel was to work the soil for 6 years and rest the soil in the 7th year. (Ex 23:10,11)

(7) There were 6 steps up to Solomon's throne which rested in its splendor on the 7th step, symbolizing the power and glory of God. (2 Chron 9:17, 18)

(8) Young king-apparent, Joash, was hid in the temple for 6 years and then crowned king in the 7th year - on the Seventh-day Sabbath. (2 Kings 11:3-12)

(9) Noah was 600 years old at the time of the flood - the judgment of the earth. (Gen 7:6)The Bible is filled with many other such examples. So there you have it - THE GREAT WEEK OF TIME! God created a 7 day week (6 days of creation and the 7th day Sabbath) to symbolize the 6000 years of history of this world to be followed by the 7th 1000 years of millennial "Sabbath Rest" in heaven.

So there it is my readers : Why is "7" God's perfect number? From the time the Garden of Eden was created until Eden is restored by God in the earth made new will be 7000 year

Jesus is coming...He is "Even at the door!" (Matt 24:32,33)

Natural Breast Enlargement - Perfect Woman Official Site

Natural Breast Enlargement - Perfect Woman Official Site

BEWARE OF FALSE PROPHETS

Recently, I was intrigued to discover that we are, most likely, in the last generation before the Rapture.

How do I know? Well, a prophecy expert told me so! According to this man, every sign of the last times has now been fulfilled and the Rapture is coming.

"Many will say to Me in that day, 'Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?' "And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!' Matthew 7:22-23

It is impossible to estimate just how much money is extracted yearly from the victims of faith prophets. And the sad truth is fake prophets will always be with us. The small but irreducible percentage of people that will believe anything, no matter how ridiculous, will continue to dump cash into the fake prophets racket.

This however,is damaging our world of today and creating confusion to the already confused souls.

some of the damges these fake prohets cause are

1. Interference with proper treatment of patients.

2. Financial loss to the victims.

3. Diversion of vital church resources.

4. Blaspheming against the Holy Spirit by imitating gifts.

5. Perverting the gospel of "faith" with false doctrines.

6. Teaching a wicked generation to look for signs.

7. Confusing an already confused world.

8. Offering false hope to the sick, elderly and afflicted.


Let us all rise and pray against these fake prophets of our time

How To Know When It's Over

There are few things in life that are harder on a person than the time when they realize that the love they have worked so hard at, and spent so much time on, is finally over. For some, this realization is a complete shock and for others, they have seen the writing on the wall for some time now.

Breakup signs are often very difficult to spot, primarily because the people involved often do not want to admit that the relationship has failed. And unless something comes along and hits them in the face, telling them it's over; the natural tendency is to try to work through the problems. This happens more so when the couple have been together for a while.

The question that remains, therefore, is at what point do you really know that it's over?
First lets start with the glaring signs that the relationship is over:

1. You catch your partner in the act of having an unforgivable affair.
2. Your partner uses physical violence against you.
3. You argue non-stop about everything. You can't agree on anything.

The above are obvious, any of the three things occurring above, ESPECIALLY NUMBER TWO, are sure signs that the relationship is coming to an, often abrupt, end.

There are however some other signs to look out for. Sometimes it is necessary to accept the painful fact that the relationship you are in is just not good for you. While I am usually the staunchest advocate for the "you can make it through anything as long as you have love" club, even I have to admit that there are situations where one or both of the partners are just better off apart.

The most common instance of this is when one partner is INTENTIALLY holding the other partner back. When two people have separate dreams and goals, friction can occur, especially if neither of them are willing to compromise. In some instances, however, jealousy leads one of the partner's to be excessively controlling of the other. In these situations, if they are UNRESOLVABLE, it is better to leave than stay.

Other reasons to leave include:

1. You realize that you don't love your partner.
2. You find yourself thinking more and more about how good single life was.
3. You realize that your partner doesn't love you, but is with you because they don't want to hurt you.
4. You have no common interests or goals.
5. You find that you cannot stand their annoying little habits, and they won't change.
6. You find it impossible to be yourself around your partner.
7. Your partner cuts you down, makes you feel bad about yourself, and constantly devalues your goals and ideas.

Under no circumstances should anyone stay in a relationship that is bad for them, just because they feel that being in a relationship, even a bad one, is better than being alone.